didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
