Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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