I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
