Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
