East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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