remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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