Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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