It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
