I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
