Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
