Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
