She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
