I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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