i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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