If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
