have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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