Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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