He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize