My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
