I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
