I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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