Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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