So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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