he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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