Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
