I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
