Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
