That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
