seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
