Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No more Irish car bombs ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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