and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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