with your own penis?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
