the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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