once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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