If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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