erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
