dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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