Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
