we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
