considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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