I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
