just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can I color on your dick again?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
