I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
