I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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