"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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