Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
