sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
