It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish i was in the wii world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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