the new term for farting is butt boxing.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You have to summon your inner elephant
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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