a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
