He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
