if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
