He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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