READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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