At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
