Already got asked if we're dating
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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