We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Randomize
