Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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