Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
