She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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