Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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