In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have aggressive nipples.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
